#btw brown like. blew the fuck up for some reason

[ballcrusher74]

yknow wut im not heavily into rbf anymore but like. i still fw it a lil

anyways here's my old rbf oc, brown, which I recently redesigned and actually really like a lot ( red's there too i suppose )

[umeqii]

natsuki x fem!popstar!reader headcanons for a reader who's a semi-famous popstar that goes to the same school and joins the club? :33 (IM CRINGING AS I WRITE THIS GUYS 😔🥰)

NATSUKI MENTIONED RAAAHHH SHE'S SO MEEE (also dw dollface it's not cringey :33)

-⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀AS IF I WOULD EVER LIKE YOU, IDIOT⠀!⠀⠀. . . ⠀⠀⠀ just be more careful .

character - natsuki

fandom - doki doki literature club

gender - fem reader

a/n - no sayori (i cldnt be bothered 🙁.) + swearing + mentions of wlw sex things (??)

creator - umeqii

okay so, natsuki is very known throughout the school on how she likes "childish and cutesy" typa things

and even throughout the club she was looked down on for her cutesy exterior; she knew they meant well but she wasn't taken that seriously :((

but you were quite similar !

you had interests that no one else had, and was mocked in school, but then you got into music and boom!!

you were famous !!

yur songs were mostly about how you feel, with hidden meanings in them or some of them just being lyrics you thought of at 2 AM when binge watching KNY

the first song you made was called 'P.U.N.K GIRL' (P.U.N.K Girl by Heavenly btw :33!!), and it blew up !!

it was used throughout wlw edits, like shinomitsu and hachinana >3<

natsuki had also seen an edit using that song and she LOVVESS it :33!!!

it's in every playlist she makes, no matter how different the playlist themes are !!

and you started posting more and more songs and your popularity grew more and more each and every day !!

for example; 'WHERE YOU BEEN HIDING?' (Where You Been Hiding by Sinéad Harnett) was one of your most popular songs !!

when you transfered to their school, you were actually in yuri's class

when she first saw you, you were definitely very accessorised and had a very different style to most people

she immediately thought of natsuki when she saw you

you actually got seated beside her, and the reason on how ym started talking was bc yu were writing another one of ur songs :P

'BANG BANG BANG' (Bang Bang Bang by Sohodolls)

you were on the verse where it mentions, 'neon streets are full of lust.' and then yuri decided to speak up

despite her socially awkward demeanor, she spoke and carried herself very nicely

she already knew you were a singer due to her classmates' conversations (she doesn't talk in class unless she gets chosen so she js listens in on others)

and you started saying how you have writer's block and couldn't think of anymore lyrics

yuri then mentioned the literature club and said she could take you along with her after class

she was genuinely so scared if you would say no, because she didn't wanna embarrass herself :((

but luckily u sed yes :333!!!!!

anyways, to the club, mc was the first one to realise you :o

( btw, in this au, monika isn't basically the creator and mc is a real 'character' aswell as you and all of the other ddlc girls )

he was literally js abt to enter the club ://

then ym started talking and he seemed to not recognise you so you were quite happy because of how yuve been getting alot of attention from ppl so it was a nice change

UNTIL YURI MENTIONED IT .

im kidding i luv yuri shes js my least fav member

NOT LIKE I HATE HRR BUT I JS PREFER THE OTHER MEMBERS (natsuki, monika, sayori n yuri idc if no one asked fuck you)

and he was js like "whoa, so you make songs? cool." and fr js walked inside

like where's the enthusiasm :/// slash jay

then as you walked in, mc started talking to this pretty brown haired girl who seemed quite surprised to see you

then yuri told you to wait by the door and she went to mc and spoke to the green eyed female

as you were waiting, you could hear their mumbles and as the girl with the ponytail was abt to speak, a door fr hit you

"ah, hel-"

"OW WHAT THE HELL"

and the thing is, the door didn't even stop moving when yu screamrd ☠️☠️

and as you were fr abt 2 throw hands, yu saw this lowkey short pink haired girl who was holding a tray of sumthin

"sorry, do you mind being more care-"

"OH MY GOD"

i feel like of natsuki was a big fan of ur music, she wld FREAK if she saw yu irl

esp since she hit u w a door !!

but yk who doesn't hit their celebrity crush every now n then

(devon bostick ily/j)

she webt RED RED ://

not like "omg her cheeks flushed red...kawaii..."

LIKE RED ☠️☠️

her whole ass body n things

LIKE AND THE WAY HER EYES LIT UP WHEN SHE SAW YOU 😋😋

"are you okay natsuki?" - monika

"YOU'RE Y/N L/N OH MY FUCKING GOD"

and she dropped the tray and turns out it was cookies and u gen felt yur heart shatter

"oh yeahhahaha that's me..!"

bro why do mfs always recognise you in the stupidest times

like sm1 fr recognised u in the bathroom when yu were gnna piss

but yh HEADCANONS time bc i'm a lazy shit and i have to wake up at 5:30 tmrw for skl

okay so natsuki is naturally insecure of her tendencies to push people away, and she honestly hates herself for it which is SOOOOOO real lmfao

but how she is towards the other members is so different compared to you

she always has a giddy smile on her face just bc of the mention of ur name

and her heart always skips a flutter seeing yur smile

she doesn't show it though of course..

they just have a littllleee bit of a softer side for ya !! (natsuki is she/they argue w the way if u disagree)

you're lowkey rich asf but not THAT rich bc yur stupidass self spends too much monry on merch n figurines

good thing yur amazing producer, mari, helps ya out >3<

YEAH AND SO WHAT IF I ADD MYSELF IN LIKE EVERYONE IF THESE STORIES??

i'm the creator not you like bffr ://

anyways im kidding ily probably unless you're an eyesore but anyways ahahhaa

when yu first introduced natsu 2 mari, SHE HATED HER ☠️.

mariyas js a bit too mean sometimes

"what's with that outfit? i wouldn't be caught dead wearing that ugly thing out of the house.."

"who do you think you a-?"

"ugh, shut up. your voice is hurting my head. and that's a lot judging from how i listen to Y/N's singing like..every month..."

but then again, they're really similar but they just view things differently

like mari doesn't wanna be scary, and natsuki doesn't wanna be cute >_<

anyways how ym got together was that she invited u over to make cupcakes and she sed she cld even help u w a new song

and blah blah blah she was implying it as a wlw song and you js ended up kissing eachother n made out n probably scissored or smth idfk i js saw a bird fall to it's fate ☠️ .

I SWEAR IM NOT TRYNA SEXUALISE NATSUKI BUT SHES OVER 18 N YH (im js self projecting bc im a bitch and this is what i wld do dont hate me guys)

but yh, u did make a song

it's called , 'SPACE GIRL' and it's based off of natsuki's pov of you

(space girl by Frances Forever)

[raspberryflo]

I remembered some more bits and bobs and found pictures!! Also I literally had a dream last night btw that someone reblogged this and said "damn bitch you live like this?" and it made me wake myself up from laughing

The house was lit up fine, but for some reason creepers (and only creepers) would sometimes spawn in there. So I had to be careful whenever I turned a corner because there was a nonzero chance there would be one staring me down like freddy fazbear in my doorway

To combat this I had several cats and a fox named Froyo who wandered my house, but one day every single animal on the server spontaneously died on the spot simultaneously

I had plans to build an exact replica of the house underneath the house, I never finished it though because of time restraints but could you fucking imagine

I really like the farlands, so one day while mindlessly mining out the gaping caverns underneath my house I chiseled a chunk of farlands. So in the dimly lit no-man’s land beneath my home there was (what looked like) a chunk from the farlands just hanging out in there

One day while digging down to look for diamonds or whatever I fell down into an exact replica of the backrooms which someone had for some reason constructed. This thing is genuinely thousands of blocks wide I got lost in there within a minute and it was just Below My House this whole time

At one point I built a house made out of netherite, diamond and emerald blocks on my front yard just because it looked like the kind of thing a kid would make when they first get creative and it made me laugh

Sidenote but my whimsical and goofy reputation meant that I got so much insane stuff for free because nobody was worried about me ever actually using it. One time an admin gave me so many hearts that it covered the left side of my screen and they just forgot to take it away for like a week. I was literally immortal and living in a home made of diamonds and netherite like I cannot stress how rich and powerful I was but all I used my power for was making my house really weird

This goes without saying but there is obviously a herobrine summoner in my basement

The “biome” that started growing in my cavernous mining-area basement was a lush caves biome, which wasn’t actually added into the game yet

On the last day of the server, some newer members were given creative and blew everything up for fun. For some reason they were able to roll back all of the other explosions EXCEPT the ones that destroyed my House

I found a brown mooshroom cow thousands of blocks away, so I lead it back but upon entering the threshold of my Home it literally died on the spot. His grave is still there ☹

One day I logged on and someone had built a giant soulsand Totem in front of my home and lit a bunch of my stuff on blue-fire. Still not sure what that meant

Below my home there’s a box named “containment chamber 1” except why is it called chamber one. That implies that there’s more and I don’t know where they are. Maybe my entire home is a containment chamber

At one point, random blocks in my house started turning into bedrock. This means that you literally could not fully destroy my house no matter what. Also I vividly remember an admin came over to my house to do a HOUSE INSPECTION and get rid of any anomalous blocks, and in a panicked attempt to make my home look normal, I covered all of the bedrock up with trapdoors so they wouldn’t stand out and my house could remain weird. This worked btw. This was also the same admin that PUT THOSE BLOCKS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE

On literally the first day when I moved into the plot of land that would become my House I found an indestructible, invisible floating block right where I wanted to build

I forgot to mention but my house is both a house, a small village and a whole Area called “Sans County” on account of the giant sans undertale statue that appeared on top of my house one day. Anyway through various geo-political disputes and SMP Lore Stuff that I was barely involved in, I somehow accidentally ended up inheriting almost literally the entire server by virtue of being the last one alive. So by the end of the SMP, the entire server was technically my House

My lovely home :)

Babygirl my minecraft house is fucked up in ways you couldnt even imagine

[pandajaye]

Todoroki Family Ties (Part 9)

Characters: Enji Todoroki, Stepmom!OC!Ivy (Ivy is black btw), Child!Shoto Todoroki, Teen!Touya Todoroki, Preteen!Fuyumi, Child!Natsuo

Fandom: My Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia

Warnings: pregnancy, hospital, hysteria, child abuse, Aquaphobia, upset child, abusive family, neglect

“Enji, it’s okay. Please try to calm down. Everything is going to be fine.” Ivy comforted her husband, putting a hand on his leg in an attempt to keep it from bouncing so much. “I know, I know. Just a little nervous, that’s all.” He sighed, looking down at his hands while he rubbed his palms. They were the only ones in the room right now. It was cold and white everywhere apart from the delightful little flower clusters. The atmosphere was mostly quiet except for the tapping of keyboards and damp sounds of phones ringing in some of the offices.

“I mean…. what if it’s true? How could I be so careless? I should’ve been thinking clearly. I should’ve thought more about you. Things were just finally going so right and I was so distracted by excitement. So many good things were falling in to place. It’s…. It’s all my fault that we’re here today.” He brought her hand up from his thigh and kissed her knuckles. “Please, forgive me.” All she could do was smile at how nervous he was. “Forgive you for what, baby? Nothing bad has happened. Being here is a big part of the journey. It’s where our path is decided for us. I’m excited. You should be, too.”

Enji wrapped his arms around her with a tight squeeze. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” She always did know how to make the best of a situation that seemed frightening. Maybe it was the way of words. Maybe it was the sweet and calm voice that did it for him. Whatever it was, he was happy to be able to access it. Having her next to him was going to make this move a lot smoother, and he couldn’t ask for anything better right now.

Their moment of peace was interrupted by a nurse dressed in lovely pink scrubs. “Todoroki?” Her voice was gentle and nice as well as her smile while she patiently waited for the two to stand and follow her. On the way to their room, Ivy glanced into the rooms they passed. In one, a couple was finding out some good news. They looked excited. In another, a woman seemed to be having a good check up. And the last one was different than the other two. A woman leaned against her sad husband as she cried. The doctor also had a sad and sympathetic look on her face. Those sure were some interesting situations to witness. Which one would represent her and Enji’s?

“This room right here. Doctor Akari will be right with you.” The two parties bowed to each other before she left and they entered the room. Enji looked around the room and sighed. It was so weird to be here again. The rooms had changed a bit since the last time he was on this same floor seven years ago. ‘Wow. Seven. I’m getting old.’ He was quickly brought back to reality by Ivy. “I’m really glad we’re here today. This is good.” Her smile brought so much ease to him. How lucky is he to have someone like her.

A quiet knock on the door gathered their attention. In walked an older woman. Her hair was still a dark brown so she couldn’t have been that much older but you could see some of the age in her kind face. There was a bit of height difference between them, her being taller than Ivy, shorter than Enji of course. She carefully closed the door behind her before setting her chart on the table and introducing herself. “I’m Dr. Akari, nice to meet you today, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki.” She shook their hands and continued. “Amazing, I never thought I’d be meeting, let alone working for the number two hero. I guess dreams do come true.” Enji blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Heh. Always nice to meet a fan.”

“So. We’re here for a verification today, correct? How are you feeling? Mrs. Todoroki, is this your first?” Ivy nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I-I’ve really never been in any type of situation like this before. I’m excited and kinda nervous. Sorry.” Dr. Akari held Ivy’s hands in her own. “Sweetheart. You don’t need to apologize. Being nervous is apart of this. A big part. That’s not to say that it’ll be a bad experience. It is what you make it. And I have so much faith that this is going to be an amazing and beautiful new part of your life. You’re going to be great at this.” Her smile was warm and reassuring. Maybe everything really will be okay. “Should we get this thing started?” Ivy looked at Enji and back at Dr. Akari with a grin. “Let’s do it.”

The test and results took no time at all to come back to them. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki. You’re having a baby.” Excitement quickly grew on Ivy’s face, brown eyes big and full of tears when she looked at Enji who hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head. “Wonderful news! Wonderful! Wonderful!” He was so energetic and happy like a child himself. The fifth child and he’s still taken aback as if it’s his first. Ivy stayed a little calmer herself. “I’m so happy. This is everything I’ve ever wanted…. A dream come true.” The doctor hugged Ivy when Enji finally pulled away. “I’m so happy for you two. You have my full adoration. I know you’re going to be an amazing mother. Before you know it, you’ll have a quirky and spontaneous bundle of joy in your arms.” Ivy froze.

‘….Quirky?’

Enji thanked the doctor a few more times before leaving and while they walked to the car, he noticed something was off about Ivy. She kept her gaze towards the ground and hadn’t said a word since leaving the doctor’s office. After a short walk they arrived at the car, Ivy got in the passenger seat and patiently waited for Enji to get in and close his door. As soon as the car door shut, Ivy broke down hysterically… “FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING! FUCK!” Honestly, it scared him a bit. She was fine a few minutes ago and now she’s upset? “IVY? WHAT’S WRONG?” She started hyperventilating, forcing him to pull Ivy into his lap and hold her. “Breathe! Breathe. Slow down. In….. Out….” It took a minute before she could match his breathing. Eventually, they were in sync and she began to calm down and got back into the passenger seat.

“Alright. What in the hell was that?” He didn’t mean to sound irritated, he was just genuinely confused about what just manifested. “I-I’m sorry but…. I-I can’t do this. I-I-I can’t be a mom.” Tears were still falling but she tried to wipe them away as fast as they came. “Wha…. What do you mean?” His brows were furrowed and his face contorted. “Enji…. I-I was so excited at first. And, I still am in some ways…. But…. what happens when…. w-when we have this child…. and they don’t have a quirk because of me? I wasn’t even thinking about it until Dr. Akari said the word quirky and all of a sudden it hit me. My child is going to be weak because of me…. They’re going to hate me. I know you want a strong child with a strong quirk but I-…. I-I can’t give you that.”

To be honest, he hadn’t thought of it either. But that was the old him anyways. He’s grown since then. Quirks aren’t everything to him anymore. Just her. Just his family. No matter what skills they had or didn’t have. He loves them in every aspect. “Ivy…. I don’t need you to give me that. I want you to be happy and healthy. I want to have this child with you no matter what happens. As long as you’re both okay, that’s what’s important. I know how I used to be. And I’m still sorry and trying to atone for it. I’m learning and growing every day because of you. I appreciate and love you so much.” His large hand held her cheek as he searched her eyes for a sign that she understood him.

A wave of safety washed over her as she leaned into his hand. So much calm after one random storm. “You’re right. You are learning. You have grown. And I am beyond proud of you. I’m sorry for my outburst. It wasn’t all about you. Being quirkless has always been a problem for me. Way before me and you. You’ve improved in ways that…. he never did.” Her gaze shifted to her feet when thoughts and feelings she had long ago returned. “Who?” When her gaze came back her eyes were brimming with tears of numb pain.“My dad….”

From a very young age, Ivy was victim to some of the most impactful abuse that young girls have suffered for centuries. Familial. Being the outcast, the one child that didn’t make the cut. Worked hard and reprimanded for occurrences out of her power. Her power. The center of everything and the reason for her suffering. More commonly known as a quirk, her ability should have been water manipulation. It ran in her family. They’ve always been connected to it all. Oceans, lakes, rain, dew, snow. A gene for telekinesis brought in from one of her great great grandparents but no one remembers which one.

“LET’S GO, LET’S GO, LET’S GO!” Nami James Emaraki, Ivy’s father, blew hard into his whistle. It’s not that common for a ten-year old to have to do burpees and laps on a Saturday morning. Especially since she’s not training for anything. “YOU SLACK AND I SWEAR ITS ANOTHER TEN LAPS!! YOU ALREADY MISSED BREAKFAST SINCE YOU WANNA SLEEP IN, I’M PERFECTLY FINE WITH YOU MISSING LUNCH CAUSE I’LL STILL EAT BUT YOU WON’T!!!!” He wasn’t kidding either. That threat wasn’t the least bit empty.

“I-” Her foot slipped and caused her to face plant. She lifted her head and a stream of blood ran from her nose. “OW! UGH! H-Help, please!” Rolling his eyes, he stomped over to her, grabbing a fist full of her hair. “Sure, I’ll help you. Usually salt water helps with things like that. Let’s get you a lot of salt water.” He looked at the pool and smiled. “How about 10 ft?” Panic flooded her entire body so quickly it almost made her dizzy. Or maybe that was from the quick face plant and loss of blood.

“N-No! Please!” Ignoring her, he began dragging her to the deep end of their pool. “I’m so sorry, I can keep going! I can keep going! Daddy I can keep going!” She couldn’t help but cry and scream for forgiveness because he always had such a terrible punishment for her. The closer they got the more she struggled. “DADDY PLEASE! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE NO! NO-” He tossed her in with a grunt and picked up his stopwatch. “Hurry up. You don’t wanna drown, use your quirk to get out!”

But that was the issue. Ivy was quirkless. It never showed up when it was supposed to. They hoped she was a late bloomer but it wasn’t looking very hopeful. Her father and uncle did everything they can to bring it out of her. They were so close they moved into two joint houses for each of their families, between the two homes, a facility with a large indoor pool that they used to coach swimming and have opened for water sports and activities. Every child in their family has used this pool to get better at their quirks. But Ivy was the only one forced into fearing it, unlike her siblings and cousins.

The eldest children were Ivy’s older twin brother and sister who were six years older than her, as well as a male cousin four years older than her. They were taught everything with care and detail. How to swim, how to make waves, etc. Next, her cousin that was but a few months older than her. He also experienced the life of being the middle child like her. Ivy was born next. Treated like all the other kids until she reached the age where quirks usually had already appeared in their family.

Four. When the family pediatrician attempted to explain that her quirk would never come in due to an extra joint in her foot, that of which the absence of would determine if the power would ever come in. Her father was so upset when they got home, he grabbed her by the ankles and dunked her in the water a few times before dropping her in the 5 feet. Her mother stood and watched as paramedics revived Ivy, pretending very well to be concerned.

Yet, here he is now. Watching her sink as she loses oxygen. Destined to be a corpse at the bottom of the pool. But just before tragedy could wrap her up in its claws, her father washed her back onto the side of the pool with a wave. There she laid in a puddle, lungs full of water. “So damn dramatic.” Unrightfully annoyed, he preformed mouth to mouth and saved her, smacking her when she accidentally spit up water in his face. “You’re a disgusting excuse for a daughter. But just you wait, you’ll be a hero soon enough. And you’re gonna be supporting your family after we’ve been so supportive of you. Get your ass up and come inside when you’re through acting like something wrong with you.”

Nami didn’t even look back after he started walking way. He didn’t care if she ever got up. To him, she has two options in life. Become a top pro-hero. Or die. And some days, she wished he wouldn’t save her. Some days she wanted to stay at the bottom of that pool knowing she wouldn’t be able to breathe. Ivy couldn’t help but wonder, what’s the point of living if your entire family is already disappointed in you?

During lunch, her mother Eimi asked her about today’s training. “How did it go today, Ivy?” She smiled, looking between her and her father. Ivy didn’t want to answer so she kept her mouth shut. “Ivy, your mama is talking to you. Answer her.” His fist slammed down on the table. The back of her throat burned from swallowing her need to cry. “Ivy? Answer her, girl, can you not hear?!” She flinched at him raising his voice. With a quiet sigh, Ivy spoke, carefully trying not to let her voice crack. “It w-was fine, mommy. But….” She couldn’t take it anymore. She had to speak up.

“B-BUT DADDY TRIED TO KILL MEEEEE!!” Cries broke out of her throat. “CONTROL YOUR DAMN VOLUME RIGHT NOW!” He tried to grab her arm but she ducked out of the way. “MAMA I FELL AND HURT MY FACE AND MY NOSE WAS BLEEDING AND HE THREW ME IN THE POOL AND ALMOST LET ME DROOOOOOWN!!!!” Tears dripped from her chin as she trembled and sobbed. Eimi just looked at Nami and shrugged. “Well, Ivy. Maybe if you stopped pretending your quirk isn’t there, you could have saved yourself. So I don’t want to hear it.” Ivy was horrified and offended by every word out of her mother’s mouth. “WHAT? BUT MOMMY-” “THAT’S ENOUGH! YOU’RE GOING TO YOUR ROOM!” Before she could run, he grabbed her and carried her to her room as she struggled. “I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT!!” Once the door slammed close, she hugged one of her stuffed animals tight and cried. And cried. And cried. Until she cried herself to sleep.

Ivy had ever only known Hell on Earth. Her siblings before her were treated with respect. Even her baby brother and even younger baby sister got to see the best from their parents. Ivy was the one that they wanted to depend on. Their goals for her were to make her one of the most famous Pro-Heroes ever. Then use her paycheck to further their lives. She would put them on the map and be their little bank. But the older she got, the more she fought back. Until finally they realized she’d never be able to help them anyways.

Ivy was shunned and kicked out of her home. Forced to learn the way of the world. She made her way through three nice jobs and even college. Out of all the smoke and fire, she emerged through her trials and tribulations and began working at Endeavor’s agency. Her hardships didn’t end there but shortly after, everything started to work out for her.

Her past was filled with evil but it never influenced her to become a bad person even after never getting her quirk. She realized that quirks never really mattered. It was the love that she never received. Love that she’ll be giving to this baby. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if her child ever had to go through what she went through.

The world outside was so beautiful as they drove home. She looked at Enji and smiled. He sparkled in the sunlight. Those beautiful blue eyes focusing on the road while he held her hand up and kissed it. “You’re gonna be okay, Ivy. I love you so much. You’re going to be a great mom. And, I hope i can be a great father. On the fifth try.” The reassurance made her grin. “Thank you, Enji. Thank you.”

[yelenasdog]

unknown desires (spencer reid x russell holmes) (i’m so sorry BFRHEKRB)

really all i have to say about this is what the fuck and why the fuck. I DESERVE NO RIGHTS. enjoy i guess??? if u found this while searching for some reid x reader there’s plenty of that on my account!! 

i’m deleting this bye ok-

btw it’s set at the end of s9 ep18 and then ends probably around s13?? idk. also listen to billie eilish’s “i love you” to be extra sad bc this is lowkey kinda angsty and lowkey a mess but im throwing it at u ok bye!

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary”- Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven

Spencer shouldn't have been so drawn the first time he saw Russell in person. He shouldn't have been drawn at all.

He was a victim, someone who the young doctor had stared at a photo of for days while planning his rescue.

Although he didn't feel the initial electricity, he was far too buried in the case to think about Russell's kind puppy dog eyes or plump, rosy lips. Yes, far too busy to even fathom thinking of the way his raven locks that Edgar Allan Poe himself would be jealous of complimented his ivory skin, even for an inkling of a moment. He couldn’t bear to do such a thing.

But then, there was after the case, that day at the hospital. There was loss, it was hard to see. But yet again, he saw it every day.

His brain was fuzzy, and he seemed to be more heavily affected by this case than any previous endeavors. He wasn’t sure as to why.

It had him lost in his own thoughts, swimming in a pool of unknown desires.

So lost in fact, so drowned in his daydream, that he was barely aware of the person that had been wheeled over in his general vicinity.

It was him. His pink pout (that was more of a smile) was busted, no doubt, and his porcelain skin had cuts littered among it, but god, it was him.

He should have been disgusted, scared even. The man had rabies! And this was doctor Reid we’re talking about, the biggest possible germaphobe. But he couldn’t bring himself, he was too infatuated. Not that he would admit to it, though.

And he apparently had heard about Spence and his displeasure with even slightly unsanitary situations, as he chose to greet (and simultaneously say goodbye) to the doctor with a simple wave and bashful smile.

Spencer returned it in the same manner. The interaction was quick, too quick. It also warmed his heart to a full extent.

Russell was whisked away by a nurse, looking back reluctantly at the three agents that had saved his life, specifically a certain brown haired doctor, wanting to encapsulate his stunning image in his mind.

Spencer stuck to a cycle. Save, move on, repeat. It was easiest to do so rather than deal with any tag along, unwanted, painful emotions. 

Because that’s all love was. 

Crude and abrupt pain. But despite this, he found himself asking Garcia for Russell's current home address. His own actions confused him, but nonetheless, he held his head high as he exited the batcave towards the light, clutching a paper with the info in his hands. 

He knew he didn’t need it. But he refused to face the (impossible) possibility to forget this information, to forget Russell.

The paper was wrinkled and dampened from his gorilla grip by the time he had arrived. He flattened it out with shaky hands, grabbing a fresh piece of parchment.

“Hello, I'm Doctor Spencer Reid.”

No, no, too formal. He erased it.

“Greetings, I’m Spencer Reid.”

What was he, an alien? Even though many members of the team thought so, he decided against giving Russell Holmes that opportunity. And then it was gone in the wind with a few swipes from his pencil eraser.

“Hi! I’m Dr. Spencer Reid, I was one of the agents that assisted on your case. I hope this message finds you well. I’m just checking in to see how you’re healing.”

Spencer scoffed at himself out loud. “just checking in”, his ass. He continued writing and with very low expectations, he sent off the letter.

------

“I'll be just a minute, Mom!” Russell hollered through his home as he went to go check the mail. He walked down to the mailbox, limping ever so slightly, still in recovery. He flipped through the various envelopes, doing a double take when he saw a certain name.

Doctor Spencer Reid

Apartment 23A

Wilcox Road, Quantico, Virginia, 22134

He tore into the message immediately, a growing smile resting on his face as he read.

“Hi! I’m Doctor Spencer Reid, I was one of the agents who assisted on your case. I hope this message finds you well. I’m just checking in to see how you’re healing. How's your mother been since her surgery? I hope she is doing well, too. If you need anything don’t hesitate to write back or call the number at the bottom of the page. Yet again, I'm glad we could get you home, perhaps to your boyfriend/ girlfriend, or wife/husband.

Best regards, Spencer.”

He was off the walls with excitement. There was a newfound pep in his step as he made his way up the driveway, no doubt planning on writing back.

“Dr. Reid, I appreciate you checking in on me. I do not regret informing you that there is no boyfriend or girlfriend here, just my mother and I while we both recover...”

-----

Glee and bliss. Those were the two things that could no doubt be used to describe the relationship between Spencer Reid and Russell Holmes.

Although it was nothing too formal, exchanges of news about mothers or about how work was going was going on either side soon became much more deep, bringing the two closer than imaginable, even from 689 miles apart.

Never meeting again in person, the situation reminded him all too much of Maeve, but nonetheless, to him, Russell was worth it. So they talked, and talked, for years and years on end. 

They both felt a warm fuzzy feeling in their chest, quite able to place the cause on one another. 

Then one day, they stopped. 

Spencer had gotten home from a long case, and was very much so looking forward to an uplifting note from his distanced lover. But to his surprise, there was nothing. 

Although he found it odd, he blew it off, considering the possibility of getting lost in the post, running some stat to calm himself. Pulling out his cell, he dialed the number that he had saved of Russell's if for some reason the letters were to become inadequate. Voice mail. And voicemail again, and again, and again. Spencer tried for days and weeks, but to no avail, he was met with radio silence.

Until one day, if it was fateful or not is up to you.

 It was sunny in August, and Spencer Reid was not a fan. 

After sweating around all day (he wasn’t sure what it meant either), he made his way to his apartment. He stripped down to his slacks and undershirt, waltzing around his apartment with a water bottle in hand.

knock knock

He squinted his honey eyes, confusion flooding his body. He cautiously approached the door, keeping his revolver in his peripheral vision, compliments of his paranoia.

Another two knocks sounded, but before a third could ring out, he swung the door open.

He gasped, his jaw water bottle falling out of his hand and rolling into the hallway.

“Russ?”

“Hi, Spence.”

He wanted to hug him, he wanted to kiss him, God, he wanted to-

“I felt like I needed to tell you in person.”

His heart dropped to his feet as Russell's own shaky hand presented itself, in it, a white envelope, similar to the one that started their not-so extravagant rondevu.

“W-what is this, Russ?” he opened with nimble fingers, sliding it from its encasement.

Join soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Russell and Jane Holmes-

He didn’t read the rest, he didn’t need to, and couldn't. Tears made their way to both men’s eyes, threatening with such a fierce hostility to spill.

“I’m so sorry, Spence.”

This warranted no response from the doctor. He looked blankly behind Russ, his mind running a million miles a minute. With his head hung in a terrible shame, Russell turned to leave.

He was shocked when he was stopped by Spencer grabbing him by his blue and red plaid shirt, pulling him back.

“Wait.”

He turned, his hazel eyes just barely meeting Spencer's own of the same color.

“Do you love her?”

He pondered for a moment, before nodding slightly.

“Yes, I,” he paused. “Yes.”

Spencer bit his bottom lip briefly, before making a choice he knew he would regret.

He gripped him by the collar of his shirt, smashing their lips together for the first time and the last.

It should have been sweet, it should have been everything he hoped for and more. It should have been a reunion as glorious as they both could have imagined.

But instead, it was a mixture of salty tears, as their lips moulded together like they were made for each other. He pulled away, trying to maintain a strong facade.

“Good.”

And with that, he took one more look, before committing him to a memory, and nothing else.

He shut his door, sliding down against it and silently sobbing, pulling at his curls as tears racked his body. He heard smaller footsteps pad up the staircase, stopping next to where he left a dumbstruck and emotion ridden Russell.

“Hey, sweetheart, is your friend going to be able to make it?” She rubbed his shoulder lovingly, so incredibly oblivious and unaware of the previous happenings.

He put a remorseful hand on hers, watching how her engagement ring shimmered, even in the dim lighting.

He put on a false smile for his future wife he thinks he loves. “I think he’s a bit busy, he said he needs to review the date.” He spoke loudly, hoping Spencer could hear him through the thick door.

She frowned, nodding in what was her understanding of it all.

“Well, I hope he can make it, he must be important if you came all the way here to deliver this for him!”

He smiled genuinely, thinking of all the letters sent and hours spent.  

“Yeah, more than he knows.”

It wasn't until after he heard their steps retrieve, and their car start up and go, that he picked up the card to finish reading it.

He ran his finger over the gold raised trim, the feeling giving him goosebumps. He read the front and flipped it over, seeing an all too familiar hand writing underneath the date that the supposed union was to be held.

I'm sorry, I love you.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

literally what the fuck was that ffwbfbfbkfw what do i even tag this?? im so sorry. also this is my first character x character be nice

[therainroguefanfiction]

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 022 [Winchester’s Starting Line]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 3,282

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

〈“You know you’re fighting in a losing battle, Making a noose out of your hollow crown. I hold a match up to your paper castle, and watch it all burn down.” Ellie Goulding, “Hollow Crown”〉

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

The smoke cleared and the boss was on the other end of the room, his body embedded in the back wall. The male standing in front of me was breathing heavily, sword poised in front of him in both hands. Wait, I recognize that mop of green hair!

“Izuku?”

He glanced over his shoulder, giving me a nervous smile. “H-Hi, Jen-san.” He was wearing a long-sleeved white shirt under a green vest. His hands were covered by gloves and he wore a brown utility belt around his waist, legs covered by blue pants. He’s also a swordmaster.

“Deku?! What the fuck are you doing here?!” Bakugo yelled, stomping over to the boy.

“U-Um, I… you looked like… you n-needed help…”

“Hah?! As if I’d ever need help from a nerd like you!”

“You say that, but Winchester would have been a goner if he hadn’t stepped in when he did.” Iida approached the two, dressed in a suit of armor, his helmet tucked under his arm. He’s the knight class.

“That’s her fault for being a fucking weakling!”

“Gee, thanks.” I rolled my eyes, coughing again.

“Don’t worry, Jen, I can heal you!” Ochaco smiled brightly as she kneeled beside me, dressed in a short tan dress with a red hood over her head. Black leggings covered her legs, disappearing into brown boots. She carried a wooden staff, her right hand wearing a red glove. She’s the mage class. Ochaco hovered her hand above my stomach and it started to glow purple before my health shot up. “There, all better!”

“Thanks,” I pulled myself to my feet, dusting off my pants.

Iida snapped his gaze to me. “Why are you here? You’re not even level fifty yet!”

My eyes narrowed. “I’m half a pubic hair from being fifty. Fuck you.”

His cheeks burned. “E-Either way, this area is far too advanced for you! Show some responsibility for your actions.”

“You know, you really fucking piss me off, Prep.”

“P-Prep? My name is -!”

“I don’t fucking care,” I scoffed. “Oi, Bakuhoe. You got five minutes to finish this bitch off before I call it quits. I’m fuckin’ hungry and now in a bad mood.”

“Che, don’t tell me what to do!” He turned his back to me. “Let’s go, shitty hair!”

“Right!” Kirishima blew smoke from his nose.

Izuku and Iida joined the fight, while Ochaco stuck close to me with a magical shield up in case the boss decided to attack me again. Ten minutes passed and Kirishima dealt the finishing blow with a swipe of his clawed hand. Or is it a paw? Dragons don’t have paws right? Feet? But that makes me think of the back legs not the front.

As the boss shattered, an annoying jingling started to go off in my ear like I had just won the fucking jackpot on a slot machine. My level shot through the roof, jumping from forty-nine to seventy-nine. My body feels lighter, stronger, and now I have a shit ton of power points to assign again. For fuck’s sake.

Kirishima’s body started to shrink back to human form and he fell back onto his ass, a bright grin on his face. “I can’t believe we did it! You’re super strong, Midoriya!”

The greenette flushed at the praise, not missing Bakugo’s glare. “N-No, I’m really not -”

“Of course he is!” Iida pushed up his glasses. “Not only is he max level, but he also has the legendary Allmiber!”

Allmiber? What, is that the fucking love child of All Might and Excalibur?

“How the fuck did you hit max level?! And where the fuck did you get the most OP weapon in the damn game?!” Bakugo demanded, trying to grab the front of Izuku’s shirt, but the anti-PVP system prevented him from doing so.

���That’s so cool!” Kirishima jumped to his feet, eyes sparkling. “Only five people in the entire game have managed to find Allmiber!”

“And you, shitty hair!” Bakugo’s vermillion eyes snapped to the red-head, pointing an angry finger at his face. “How the fuck are you a Dragonling?!”

“What’s a Dragonling?” Ochaco whispered from behind me.

Izuku answered, his eyes shining. “Dragonlings are the rarest race in the whole game! They can’t be chosen or even bought, you can only get it as a drop from a powerful boss. The drop rate itself is only .01% and the drop location changes every week. They say that Dragonlings are unbeatable because of their massive health bars and insane defense and armor. They’re also the only race in the game that can change their forms in battle! Their dragon forms have been called the gods of the game! Did you know that the creator -”

I glanced over my shoulder at him, sweatdropping as he continued to ramble on about the game. A simple, ‘it’s rare!’ woulda been fine, ya know. But Ochaco and Iida are listening intently to him, as usual, nodding their head every few words.

Kirishima laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I was just killing some scarecrows for a quest and it dropped.”

“You got a Dragonling from a fucking level five quest?! I’ll kill you!”

My lips tugged down as I watched the two groups interacting with each other. Why do I feel a sudden pang in my heart? I cursed, turning toward the exit portal that had opened up after the boss with destroyed. It took me back to town and I quickly logged out of the game, pulling myself off the wooden floor and turning the console off. I can still hear Bakugo screaming over the phone and I hesitated.

Should I say something? I decided I didn’t want to bother them and just ended the group call without a word, glancing at the clock. Nine-thirty.

The front door opened and closed, Toshi stepped into the living room looking tired and ragged. He smiled when he saw me. “Hello, young Jen. What would you like me to make for dinner?”

I grunted, pushing past him before he could step into the kitchen. “I wanna work on my cooking skull. You don’t mind, yeah?”

He sent me a confused look, but it soon melted to one of warmth. “That’s fine with me. I’m guessing tacos since I lifted the ban?”

“Nah. I’m in the mood for some curry.”

“Oh…” he shifted in the doorway, watching me closely. “Is anything bothering you?”

I sent him a small smile. “I spent all day playing an RPG with Bakugo, so I’ve just got a bit of headache.”

He sweatdropped. “That’ll do it. I’m gonna go take a shower.”

My smile dropped as soon as the bathroom door closed. To be honest, I don’t really know why I’m suddenly feeling so… isolated and down, I guess? I don’t wanna worry him, especially when I don’t even technically know what my problem is. Thinking about it, a lot of time has passed since I came to this world, since I started at U.A.

While everyone else has been forging friendships, I’ve been too damn busy keeping people at a distance. I haven’t made any efforts at all. Bakugo only asked me to play with him because he had no one else, but now he knows that the golden trio and Kirishima also play. They don’t need a low level to babysit that knows nothing about the game.

I groaned, rubbing my forehead in frustration. “Why is this bothering me? Get a grip.”

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

My phone buzzed for the millionth time and I sighed, opening my messages. From Bakugo:

‘Where the fuck did u go?’

‘Oi, fuckin answer me’

‘…somethings wrong aint it?’

‘Stop fucking ignoring me!’

And from a number I didn’t recognize:

‘Hey Winchester! Got ur number from Bakugo!’

‘This is Kirishima btw’

‘Whyd u log out so suddenly? Everything ok?’

‘That sword u got is really cool btw, it costs a million gold!’

My brow furrowed. Why did he give my number to Kirishima? Why’d he want it in the first place? Are they really worried about me? And that sword… why did Bakugo give me something that’s worth so damn much? I don’t understand anything.

I sighed, throwing my phone onto the couch before plopping down onto the floor so I could put my sneakers on. I heard shuffling behind me as Toshi walked quietly down the hall, pausing when he noticed me.

“Young Jen, you’re up early!”

“Don’t sound so surprised, Toshi.”

“You’re never awake when I leave in the mornings.” He commented, sliding his feet into the over-sized loafers. He suddenly grinned, his body expanding as he took on his muscle form. “Shall I carry you to school today? Ahahaha!”

I rolled my eyes as I pushed the door open. “I’m not a kid, but I’m sure Izuku would take you up on that offer, though.”

He laughed again, closing and locking the door. “I’m sure he would! By the way, I wanted to thank you for befriending young Midoriya. I feel more at ease knowing that you’re there to watch his back.”

“I’d hardly call myself his friend,” I muttered under my breath.

“Hm? What was that?”

“I said you’re welcome.”

He smiled brightly, slapping my shoulder. “Be safe on your way to school, young Jen!” He kneeled down, kicking off the ground as he took to the sky. I waited until he was out of sight before starting to walk, stuffing my hands into my pockets.

It was still dark outside, the neighborhood peaceful as the residents slept. Crickets chirped tiredly in the distance, pausing when the wind blew through the trees. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always found solace in the darkness. I’ve always been a night owl, preferring to be awake through the night rather than during the day. Maybe it’s because I hate the sun, or maybe it’s because there are fewer people around at night… I don’t really know the reason. This little strip of time before the sun starts to rise makes me feel at peace.

I took my time walking to school and the sun was just starting to glare over the horizon as I walked through the archway, casting shades of orange and purple across the sky. It was beautiful, sure, but I ain’t fond of the sun.

I entered the school building, heading for class 1-A. The room was empty and, for a minute, I just stood in the doorway. It felt weird without the loud chatter of the other students. It was eerie, like I had just stepped into an alternate dimension or some shit.

“Fuckin’ creepy,” I muttered, flicking on the light before heading to my desk. What do I do now? I left my phone behind, so I can’t play any games. I guess I could work on my homework… I started it last night but couldn’t concentrate so I ended up giving up and going to bed. Scrunching my nose up, I grabbed my notebook and the worksheets we had been given and got to work.

The door slid open a few minutes later and I glanced up, meeting surprised heterochromatic eyes. I returned my gaze to my notebook, where I was working on a doodle of Deadpool wearing a taco hat. At least he ain’t glaring at me, but the day is still young.

The legs of the chair scraped against the floor as he sat at his desk. He was quiet for a moment before speaking up, almost hesitantly. “Good morning,”

I raised a brow at him, but he was staring down at his desk. “Uh… sure.”

“Are you all healed up?”

“Yeah,”

“That’s good,” he nodded his head, pulling his notebook from his bag. “Does my voice really keep you calm?”

I nearly snapped my pencil, a bead of sweat rolling down my cheek. Damn, talk about being blunt. I cleared my throat, “Why are you even talkin’ to me?”

His eyes met mine, growing wide. “Should I not be?”

I shrugged. “You’ve always seemed perfectly content just glaring at me.”

Peppermint quickly looked away, his hair covering his eyes. “I’m sorry. You just… remind me of someone.”

“Who?”

He was silent for a moment and I figured he wasn’t going to answer. When he finally did, his voice was like ice. “My father,”

I raised a brow, humming. So a pretty boy with daddy issues, huh? Interesting. “Right. Good to know I remind you of an old man.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he mumbled, his cheeks gaining some color. “Will you answer my question now?”

“Yes, you have a calming voice. Happy?” I sighed, turning back to my notebook. Man, I accidentally stabbed Deadpool in the face.

The door slid open again and Fumi stepped inside, tilting his head as his eyes met mine. He approached my desk with a smile. “Good morning, Jen-san.”

“Sup, Fumi.”

“You’re usually one of the last to arrive. It’s quite alarming to see you here so early.”

“Sheesh, a girl tries to be a diligent student and everyone thinks the world is comin’ to an end.” I grinned, leaning back in my chair. “I wanted to try somethin’ new, but don’t worry, I hate it and won’t be doing it again.”

He chuckled, his eyes scanning my notebook. “You did this problem wrong,”

“Heh?” I glanced at the math problem he was pointing at. “Fuck math,”

“If you’d like, I can give you a hand.”

“For sure, thanks Fumi. The last thing I need is a lecture from Ectoplasm about not paying attention in his class.”

He nodded toward the pencil. “May I?”

“Go for it,” I watched as he scribbled down a number on the corner of the page.

“You can message me anytime you find yourself stuck and I will do my best to assist you.”

“Yeah, I will.” I smiled at him. “Thanks, Fumi.”

He nodded, returning the smile before heading to his desk. I caught Peppermint’s gaze but he quickly looked away. What’s his deal today?

Students slowly started to filter into the room and the silence morphed into loud chatter. In a way, their loud natures is annoying as all hell, but… I think I prefer it over the alternative.

“Wait, who are you?”

I glanced up at the sound of Alien’s voice, seeing Rin standing in the doorway. What’s he doing here?

He bowed, offering a kind smile. “My name is Hiryuu Rin from class 1-B next door. I’m looking for Winchester,”

Her eyes fell on me, half-hidden behind Momo. I stood up and approached him, grabbing his wrist and tugging him from the room. I could already hear her excited whispers. I swear if she starts spreading some stupid shit… I brought Rin to the stairway, which only had a few students passing by. As soon as I turned toward him, his arms were thrown around my neck, my body tensing at the contact.

“Uhh…”

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” He spoke with a voice full of emotion, his grip tightening around me. I could feel his heart hammering in his chest. “I heard about the attack, about two students being seriously injured along with Aizawa-sensei and Thirteen-sensei. I came to see you yesterday, to see if you were okay, but your entire class was gone. I was so worried about you, Winchester!”

My body relaxed as I wrapped my arms around him, gently rubbing his back. “The faulty thought it would be a good idea if we took a day off after the attack. Me and Izuku were a bit reckless, but it ain’t a big deal.”

“‘A bit reckless’?” He pulled back, eyes narrowed in frustration and worry. “You could’ve been killed.”

“I didn’t think you cared that much,” I muttered, scratching my cheek as I glanced to the side.”

“You’re my friend, of course, I care!” He sighed, letting his arms fall to his sides. “You’re okay, that’s what matters.”

My heart skipped a beat, my chest growing warm as my lips curled up. My hand rested on his head. “I’m sorry I worried you, Rin.”

“Call me Hiryuu.”

“Only if you call me Jen.”

“Deal,” he grinned.

“Hey, Rin! Class is gonna start soon!” An orange-haired girl smiled at us as she walked by with a girl that looked like she just stepped out of My Little Pony.

“Be right there, Kendo!” He called before turning back to me, pulling his phone out of his bag. “Can we exchange numbers?”

“Oh, uh, sure. I forgot my phone at home, though, so I’ll text you back after I get home.” I gave him my number and we parted ways, entering our own classrooms. Two numbers in one day? You’re turning into a player, girl. My good mood fizzled a bit when I entered class 1-A, eyes locking with angry vermillion.

“Morning, Winchester!” Kirishima grinned. “Last night was so much fun, let’s play again sometime!”

“Ooh~ What did you two do last night?” Alien asked, clapping her hands excitedly. “And who was that boy? Is he your boyfriend, Winchester?”

Satan, grant me the strength I need to not kill anyone today. “No, he’s just a friend.” I ignored her disappointed pout as I headed for my desk. I was almost there when a hand grabbed my shoulder roughly. Green met vermillion as we stared at each for a moment.

“You didn’t fucking answer my messages,” Bakugo’s voice was surprisingly calm as he gauged my reaction.

“I fell asleep after getting offline,” I lied, keeping my expression blank.

“Why the fuck didn’t you answer when you woke up, then?”

“Forgot my phone,”

“Stop fucking lying to me!”

I grunted, pulling myself from his grip and plopping down at my desk. Why do I suddenly feel so guilty about lying? Why did I even lie in the first place? It had been an instant reaction, I didn’t even consider it. We’re not even friends. He just tolerates me because I do the same for him.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance before stomping back to his desk.

“Hey, you guys! Did you watch the news?” Invisigirl asked, excitedly. “It was so cool that we got a few seconds of screen time. Though I bet nobody noticed me hanging out in the background…”

“Probably not,” Octo agreed.

Tail sweatdropped. “It is difficult to stand out when you’re just gloves…”

“We’re totally big deals.” Sparky’s voice was full of arrogance. “Those news channels love us, we’re basically celebrities!”

“Yeah, it’s kinda crazy, right?”

“Get over yourselves. The hero course that pumps out pros was attacked and that’s what they care about.”

“Who knows what woulda happened to us if the teachers hadn’t shown up.”

“Death. That’s what woulda happened.” I commented, dryly.

“Why’d you say that?!” Grape freaked out, his eyes full of tears. “I’m gonna pee myself just thinking about it!”

My lip curled back in disgust. Why is this fucking brat even in the hero course? I’ve seen more heroism from a fucking cockroach.

“Ah, shut up! Grow a pair, loser!!”

“Did you guys see All Might fighting the bird guy? That guy was super strong and he still destroyed him!”

“Yes, his strength is truly a thing of wonder.”

“Attention! Homeroom class is about to begin! Everyone stop talking and take your seats!” Iida ordered as he stood at the front of the room.

“Uh, we’re all sitting.”

“You’re the only one standing.”

Iida fell into his chair, body shaking. “Dang it,”

“Don’t sweat it,” Ochaco smiled. She’s honestly too precious for this world.

The door slid open and a heavily bandaged Aizawa appeared. His face was still covered, and both arms were in slings across his chest. “Good morning, class.”

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

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[zenosanalytic]

People What Aint From Round Here Is The Problem...

So I just watched Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood and I have THOUGHTS:

Ive read a few reviews&ruminations on this film at this point and I can’t believe that none of them got(or at least, mentioned explicitly) the primary thesis of this movie, spcl given that Tarentino flatly states it out the mouth of his primary protagonist within, like, the first 15-20mins of the film: “...most important thing in this town is when you’re making money you buy a house in town. You don’t rent... Hollywood real estate means you live here. You’re not just visiting, not just passing through. You fuckin live here.” i.e., the most important thing in Hollywood, to Hollywood, is the people FROM Hollywood; Everyone else is just a filthy, trouble-making tourist or profiteer who is “Passing Through” and “Doesnt Get It” and  “Is Fucking It Up”(It being the film industry), and probably “Secretly Hates Movies”. There are places and aspects of this movie that are basically a Nativist Angeleno rant, written by a life-long Angeleno film-nerd-turned-film-maker, against Hollywood’s critics(and his critics which he just totally conflates with the former), and probably non-Angelenos(and non-Californians?) in general.

There are two ways to read this thesis: Straight and Subverted/Satirized.

The evidence for reading it straight is pretty plentiful. Lots of reviews have puzzled at where the line connecting the constant hippie-bashing, the weird focus on knocking Polanski’s Polishness & preference for shooting in London, and the inexplicable pot-shot at Bruce Lee is, and I think this is it. “The Hippies” are repeatedly presented as a corrupting force: digging through trash, living in squalourous filth at the Spahn Ranch dragging members of “Old Hollywood” like its owner into it with them, selling drugs, and using sex to “control” men. And attached to this is presenting “The Hippies” as foreign; not only from another place, but refusing to assimilate with the LA way of life and hostile to it. The Manson family are the only explicitly identified “Hippies” in the film(other than, possibly, the one who sells Cliff an acid cig). The only “positive” portrayals of Bruce Lee in the film are silent ones of him teaching anglos kung fu, which has some fairly obvs and well-understood Implications.

But there’s also good evidence for reading it as subverted and satirized. Both Tate and Dalton are NOT from California, let alone LA, and Booth’s origins are left unclear. Dalton’s the only one of them explicitly id’d as being from elsewhere(Missouri), but Tate’s easy to google and she was a military kid who grew up all over the place. When Dalton returns from Italy, that sequence and his look in it are VERY reminiscent of the scenes introducing Polanski at the beginning of the film. The side-characters around Tate, perennially shown in a positive light, are also non-Angelenos. Doing Spaghetti Westerns revitalizes Dalton’s career, despite his disdain for Italian cinema. Tate and her crew, while not explicitly ID’d as “Hippies” and often shown in Mod and other fashion styles, are also presented in “Hippie” fashion, shown listening to “Hippie” music, smoking the “Hippie” Reefer(Im sorry, but Comedy Demanded this phrasing and I am Devout u_u), and implied to be living a polyamorous “Hippie” life.

It really is difficult for me to say which predominates. On the one entirely metaphorical hand, the ways in which Dalton’s Angeleno chauvinism are subverted and mocked are fairly obvs, but on the other emh, the film is FILLED with LITERALLY GLOWING nostalgia for this pre-Hippy, pre-Lefty, pre-70s, Conservative and Republican California&Los Angeles. Dalton’s focus on property-ownership&the film industry in the opening thesis could easily be seen as resolving these subversive contradictions to allow for a straight read(ie: Tate, Booth, and Dalton are “Hollywood People” who’ve both bought real-estate in LA, and who’ve grown up in film or film-adjacent fields and choose to center their adult lives in the film industry). So much, in fact, that I kinda started to wonder abt QT’s politics while watching it. And, if it WAS satirical, then what’s the point of the knock to Bruce Lee and focusing criticisms of Polanski on his Polishness and shooting in London? Is that just meant to characterize Dalton and Booth as nativists and racists?

It really cannot be said enough that there are REALLY MORE APPROPRIATE CRITICISMS to make of Polanski than 1)begin Polish, 2)possessing boyish effeminacy, and 3)preferring to shoot movies in London instead of LA. Which are this movie’s only problems with him(though it also takes the time to show him bitchily smoking a cigarette in an evening gown while being rude to a dog). Obvsl I dont object to villainizing an ACTUAL REAL LIFE VILLAIN like this shitstain, but I DO object to being asked(albeit gently) to participate in this film’s understated nationalist bigotry.

It’s possible that Cliff’s turning Pussycat down during the drive to the ranch was intended to be this but I highly doubt it. And if it was it’d be misrepresenting Polanski’s misdeeds enormously, considering that Pussycat, the too-young girl, is the sexual instigator in this film. Polanski liked to manipulate, drug, and rape underaged girls(he pulled the same shit with models in Europe before getting busted for it in LA, btw, then continued doing it after fleeing back to Europe); really not the same situation.

There’s another irony in that, while the film goes out of its way to call Polanski “boyish” and imply that makes him feminine and that this is Bad, there’s also a subtle under-current that... Tarentino sees himself in his youth the same way? He’s certainly never been short like Polanski and Jay Sebring are/were, QT’s 6 1, but the actors he cast to play them and the description made of the pair in-film are more than a bit reminiscent of how Tarentino looked&was discussed in the press back in the 90s when he was starting out. AAAaaand the film explicitly calls that Tate’s “Type”; leaving me with the question: would Tarentino be able to stop himself from implying a dead starlet would have been attracted to him? I leave the answer to your imaginations, Dear Readers u_u

Having said all that it IS a really good film, which I liked, I dont think it’d be very hard to set aside this political stuff while watching, the driving sequences are especially emotive&exhilarating, and there’s some seriously great acting in it. IDK if I’d say I liked it more than the recent Emma movie, tho.

I feel like each of the trio, Tate, Dalton, and Booth, were meant to symbolically Embody LA/Hollywood/California? Like Pitt especially seemed to be channeling movie characters and CJ from GTA: San Andreas throughout his performance, while I couldnt help but think of Ronald Reagan watching DiCaprio(spcl given the character’s likely politics). So there’s this sense in which the film is a fantasy of “Old Hollywood”, embodied by these three, Vanquishing its “Enemies”, represented by The Hippies(moralizing, pretentious, gross leftist) and potentially Polanski&Lee(foreign film ppl who refuse to integrate into the LA scene). Again, given the political history of Cali after this era, this embodiment raises some questions for me abt the film and QT’s politics(particularly in re: misogyny and feminism).

Also DiCaprio is totally going to get pitched a Reagan biopic off of this role and I sincerely hope he has the good sense to turn that shit the fuck down.

Circling back to the ranting at his critics, this movie was definitely and consciously a response to them. Like: up until the last 5-15 minutes of the film, and aside from a handful of too-lingering too fetishistic too on-the-nose creep shots of the female cast that Tarentino simply could not stop himself from making, OUATiH is precisely the sort of “Serious” film Tarentino’s critics have been saying he should make for decades now(of course he did Jackie Brown, which was that and which he blew Completely out of the park). And then there’s that bloody, gross-out, exploitation-movie ending. I dont actually think it was as bad as many critics were saying it was? For some reason I was thinking there was gonna be a massacre of the ENTIRE Manson family, which would have been totally out of left-field. But it WAS clearly a stinger of a major tone-shift thrown in as a Fuck You to the ppl who’ve called out his violent and exploitative preferences throughout the years. As for me I generally like his movies and think he’s a great filmmaker but he absolutely does go too far sometimes.

Rick Dalton, in an evening-gown, with a mixer full of iced-margarita in one hand, getting all up in the face of the driver of a loud exhaust-spewing jalope in his PRIVATE STREET was TOTALLY Tarentino himself :| By which I mean NOT ONLY that That’s ABSOLUTELY the sort of cameo he would have given himself 30 years ago and if it made any sort of sense at all in the film(which here it wouldnt have, obvsl), BUT ALSO that I feel 94% confident that Tarentino has actually done that at least once in his lifetime :| :|

I think the monologue&interactions T gives Bruce Lee leading up to the fight were probably more insulting to him than the fight itself. Contrary to popular discussion, it isn’t Pitt’s character totally trashing Lee, he gets in one good throw after Lee repeats a successful attack at his request(which I doubt Lee would have ever done from what little I know about him; not being predictable in a fight was his whole Deal), but rather an even duel between them(most of the fight is just the two blocking each others’ attacks). I dont think the film was trying to say “Lee was full of hot-air”, if it wanted to say that it’d have shown him getting trounced instead of showing him knock Booth down then trade him blow for blow, but more “Lee was pretty arrogant and a bit pretentious”.

OK, that’s abt all that I can think of right now: thanks for reading ^v^

[inky-duchess]

WIP Competition Winner: The Black Diamond by @word-by-word

There are many reasons why I choose this as the winner. @word-by-word caught my interest with her characters, her intro and blew me away with her excerpt. It is Gothic horror, and I fucking love it. I really do.

Synopsis

In The Black Diamond, we are introduced to two women: Isabella a high-society lady turned jewel-thief who is haunted by her family's past and Mairead, the cross-dressing badass Irish business woman who I never knew I needed until now. (Thank you, thank you!) The two women, though in disagreement about the way it is run, are in business together and must put aside their troubled past to find the Black Diamond, a jewel said to be cursed.

Why the characters caught my interest (or why I want to adopt these Victorian Lesbians)

I was immediately drawn to Isabella's plight, as it is contemporary to the times (as many nobles were impoverished) and consider my interest fucking peaked at the line about her brother's death. The contrast between her gentle upbringing and her tactics to survive just feel right to me.

I love Mairead for the simple fact that she is who she is. I am on board anything this woman does just because she is so fucking awesome. And yes, she has a dog. (Please) BTW for some literally unknown reason I ship her with Countess Markevitz. And also if she wants to kick Robert Peel up the bollux, please let her, please. Or maybe meet Queen Victoria and ASK HER ABOUT THE GENOCIDE.

Dream Fancasts

Isabella: I racked my brain trying to think of somebody who looked enough like the Isabella in my head. I thought of Picnic at Hanging Rock (2018)'s Samara Weaving. She just has the look.

Mairead: I only thought of one actress for her and that was Jessica Brown-Findlay. She could deffo pull of a top hat and suit and we know from Harlots that she can show us the Big Dick Energy. Or maybe even Katie McGrath? 😍😍😍

The Excerpt

Something was wrong.

The bells of the grandfather clock tolled as Isabella passed it by. Hundreds of paintings hung crookedly from the walls of Harcourt place, their painted eyes burning into Isabella's back as she wandered the halls. Moonlight streamed through the open windows, but no earthly light could even begin to cut through the shadows that festered and flailed on the floor. The curtains flew out in the wind, their fabric the same colour of freshly spilt blood.

     At first, Isabella could not contain her dopey grin. She breathed deep, stopping for just a moment to marvel at the masterpiece of the halls around her. Because this wasn't the Harcourt Place of 1899, with doomsday looming just upon the horizon. This was the Harcourt Place of the past, a mansion fit for any king or queen. Perhaps the paintings weren't world famous, but they were the people she called friends for years. The two ladies with the picnic spread filled with cakes and sweet treats that Isabella once drooled over. The old cocker-spaniel that Isabella came up with a new name for each day. The old knight, a valiant man that she couldn't help but create lovers for. The sands of time had ripped them all from her, yet, there they sat. Reunited at last.

     But Isabella's smile faltered. Something in the deepest pits of her stomach churned. This was wrong. And as much as Isabella longed to ignore the hair on the back of her neck that stood rigid or the goosebumps that flourished over every inch of her pale skin, she couldn't. Because this was all sorts of wrong. Isabella knew that in her heart. This was the Harcourt Place of the past. The place she loved. The place she lost. And nothing could change that fact, no matter how hard she wished and wondered. This was not her home. It couldn't be.

     The moment that thought crossed her mind, the windows slammed shut and the glass rattled in the panes. Smokey tendrils of clouds wafted across the panes, as if to cut Isabella off from the dark abyss that was the outside world. The smell of intoxicating moss and sweet waterlily that Isabella could practically get drunk on vanished into thin air, replaced only by the stench of death, damp and decay. The lush green foliage of Harcourt woods twisted into brackets of blackened brambles. What lay beyond was not Harcourt Place, past or present. Perhaps it was Satan's holiday home, or a leisure resort down deep in pits of the underworld. Plumes and tendrils of dark clouds wafted over the window pane, almost laughing at Isabella as she sprinted to the window, banging her hands against the glass to break free from this hellish nightmare.

“Bella?”

The call came without warning. Isabella’s blood curdled. Her heart leapt into her mouth. She knew that voice from miles away. She didn’t even need to look.

“Mama...” Isabella whispered.

Literally, I need to see more of this WIP. Add me to a fucking taglist if there is one or fire it through my letter box. I need to see more.

[rek88k]

sad/angry grrl music suggestions from high school part 1

@afoxnamedmulder yo this is more comprehensive then I meant but welp here we are. thanks for the push:

Also disclaimer bc like. Most of this music is either like. technically musically shitty or deals with a shit load of mental health or just flat up depressing/suicidal topics. Like seriously, lot of these bands deal or address heavy ass topics so. heads up if that is not your jam. I am progressively realizing as I get older I was wayyy more depressed in high school then I previously thought and i’m pretty sure the music helps prove that :/

ANY

MUSIC!

FLATSOUND: lofi/spokenword/ambient/instrumental music. Mitch is a blessing of gentle creativity. My top suggestions for him would be the albums sleep . Scotland, i wish you had stayed (i would die for the song i exist i exist i exist). I got into him through his spoken word piece you said okay because i was a sucker for spoken word in middle school (ngl still am :P) He has really dope collaborative projects in both photography and music, available at his site. <3

German error message: AHHHHHHHHH! I cry! every time I listen! Truly the music is just so reflective and biting in relation to my own emotions and shit, but it does it in the most gentle way possible. the music swells and swells and swells, but instead of crashing its a gentle receding of the tide, until it's a trickle. After the warmth is such a solid album especially ugh :)

Next 4 bands are all related so they all sound similar/ish and have similar themes woo.

JULIA BROWN: lofi/pop/indie. Library is such a killer song goddddd. To be close to you is my fave album but an abundance of strawberries is also vvvv good.

Starrycat: lofi/pop/indie it’s such a wonderful album just. pleasant so fricking pleasant

Teen Suicide/American Pleasure club:Lofi/emo/electronic/indie look. look - teen suicide is a hallmark of sad lofi indie music and for a good reason. they are sad as shit and good as shit. DC snuff film / Waste Yrslf is my fave teen suicide (combo of two of their albums), while i blew on a dandelion and the whole world disappeared is my fave American pleasure club. They are the same band btw idk why the name change happened.

Ricky eat acid: lofi/experimental. you get sick; you regret things is probs my fave

Salvia Plath: Lofi/experimental/electronic Melanchole. is such. a good. album

Next two bands are related

Elvis Depressedly: Lofi/experimental/electronic god do I love the weird ass stylings of Matthew Lee Cothran. Elvis Depressedly is either reaaaal weird sounding or nostalgic or sad. all good all around. Fave albums are goner (mickey yr a fuck up is gr8) Mickey’s dead (u angel u is just *heart eyes*). I haven’t had a chance to listen to the new album depressedelica but I’ve heard good things

Coma cinema: Lofi/experimental/electronic. Ditto to above basically. Fave album is posthumous release (i am a sucker for white trash vhs)

Dandelion hands: Lofi/Emo  Nick Heck is hecking good. sing me something sweet to sleep to is my fave album i think. this song tho is the best

Sandy (Alex G): Folk/Indie rock/pop I found him through fan music video for sarah and fell down the rabbit hole that is his music.He has so many albums and unreleased albums and limited release albums jesu s. He’s got a knack for describing certain weird emotions in life. idk lyrically and instrumentally he just hits really good for me. Album wise I’m partial to RACE (gnaw the most)

THE WORLD IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE & I AM NO LONGER AFRAID TO DIE (TWIABP): Ugh what can't i saw about this band. their music... reaches? idk how to describe it really but its good, the lyrics are so wonderfully and prettily written, and the instrumentals just :) .They get a bit screamy heads up but like. Tastefully screamy? Harmlessness and Whenever, If Ever are tied for my fave album. Also heads up about Between Bodies - I personally like it but it’s pretty different from everything else and some people have... strong opinions on it’s worth. make your own decision and ignore them tho bc people like to be mean.

TOLD SLANT: Look it's just gentle sad music sung in an interesting way? The vocal performance of the lead singer is aggressively gentle? like idk how else to put it it is just. delicate pain on the verge of  breaking. Tsunami is one of my fave all time songs ngl and the album it is from, is wonderful

ATTIC ABASEMENT: Look. Imma level with you - I found them off an 8tracks Steve/tony werewolf au mix and I have never been happier. downs the lot of them but good, good tunes. Dancing is depressing is a fucking kick ass album but give a listen to the attic abasement / Nod split - it is a collection of jams

SO YEAH!! there more downtempo/softer/depressing stuff I know I’m missing but that’s all i can think of atm :P Most if not all the bands here I think are own Spotify or youtue btw, I just listed them on bandcamp because I use it more than Spotify. I’m not claiming that any of this music is like, objectively good, most of it probs isn’t, but i love it dearly and will stand by it.

also check out David Dean Burkhart He’s made music videos for so many weird or solid bands. he’s doing mostly just music suggestions/uploads now, but those still, in general are really good as well. TheLazylazyme also is good for this. PanifisWater too.

Imma make another post later at some point about the like for uptempo/angrier stuff. 1 somewhat pretentious sounding genre down, another to go!!

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Moonlight. (B. Urie x Reader)

For: @Xyilous on Wattpad

Request: this is pretty weird, and you don’t have to do it, but would it be possible to write a werewolf kinda thing? i don’t have an exact story line but maybe the reader and your choice of a band member are friends and go to a party or something but end up staying too late and (band member) has to leave suddenly because of a “family issue” but the reader follows them. you can go from there, that’s all i got. i love your works btw!

-----------

Sipping from the red solo cup in your hand, you loitered in the unfamiliar living room, standing as far away as you could from the hoard of sweaty, drunk teenagers grinding against one another in the middle of the room.

The music was loud enough that you could practically feel your internal organs pound each time the bass would boost, prompting you to slink even further into the shadows.

Parties weren’t generally your scene; the only reason you were even attending this one was because your best friend had begged you to. Something about needing back-up in case things went wrong with this guy that had invited her.

You knew that was a lie (the guy was one of the rare good ones), and she only said it to get you to get out of your room for once instead of being your usual antisocial self, but she was incredibly convincing when she needed to be, so you caved in and agreed to go.

But naturally, she was now nowhere to be found, and you were stuck awkwardly hovering around people you didn’t know, with your only saviour being the drink in your hand.

And it wasn’t even alcohol – it was ginger ale. Perks of being the only one in your friend group with a driver’s licence: you were automatically the designated driver. Always.

So essentially, you were receiving zero enjoyment from being there.

Then, you turned to get another drink, and that all changed.

There, standing by the front door, clad in his customary leather jacket and ripped black skinny jeans – Brendon Urie.

You watched him as he greeted a couple of guys that stumbled passed him, his puffy lips barely twitching into a smile as his free hand tangled into the hair that was falling into his face.

Biting on your bottom lip, you kept your eyes glued on him as you absentmindedly worked on pouring yourself another drink. Brendon had finished greeting, and now stood still as he scanned the room, seemingly in search of someone.

You swallowed harshly as his gaze locked with yours. Maintaining eye contact, you refused to look away as he stared at you, cemented in place on the rug. It was only once you lifted your newly filled cup to your lips that he started moving towards you.

“Hey,” he said once you were close enough to hear him, stopping only two feet away from you.

“Hey.”

Turning to the side, he reached for a beer from the ice bath on the drinks table and twisted the cap off. His movements were slow and subtle, but it still sent a waft of his cologne through the air; you inhaled deeply, loving the smell.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said, bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a slug.

“Yeah, same here,” you said, frowning lightly as you watched him take another long drink, “Should you be drinking? Didn’t you drive here?”

Shrugging, he pushed his hair back. “I need it.”

“Rough week?”

He nodded as he downed the rest of the bottle, hissing after he swallowed the bitter liquid. “Yeah, and it’s not over yet. Fuck, I hate beer.”

Despite his declaration, Brendon reached out to grab another bottle of the fermented beverage. You raised one brow, lips twitching upwards in amusement.

“Clearly.”

“They never have the good shit at these parties. So suffer I must.”

Tapping your finger against the rim of your cup, you titled your head to the side and looked on as he slugged half of the bottle.

“Your taste is way too refined for the regular folk. I doubt that bourbon and whiskey have ever even passed their lips,” you commented, earning a smirk from the guy in front of you.

“I know what I like,” he said, taking one step closer to you. You could feel his body heat radiating off of his sculpted frame; he was always so warm. “Sue me.”

“Mm.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a group of girls standing across the room, shamelessly ogling Brendon. One of them ended up meeting your gaze, and she conjured up a filthy look to toss at you, with the rest of her group following suit not too long after.

You couldn't blame them, honestly; you were standing wonderfully close to him, occupying a VIP seat to the viewing of his gorgeous features in all of their glory. Hell, even you were jealous of you.

“Those girls are eye-fucking you,” you informed.

He cocked one brow and scoffed softly. “Do I look like I care?”

You had to fight to stifle your laugh. “That’s not very nice,” you teased.

“Like I said,” he finished off the beer and placed the empty bottle in the nearby trash bag, “I know what I like. And that… is not it.”

“No?”

“No,” he confirmed, shoving one hand into the pocket of his jacket and cocking his head in the direction of the patio door, “Come on. I need a smoke.”

~

With a disgusted look on your face, you leaned against the pillar of the porch with your arms folded, watching in disdain as Brendon retrieved his lighter and lit the cigarette dangling from his lips.

“I can't believe you’re still a smoker.”

Arching his brows, he blew a puff of smoke through his lovely lips. Taking one step backwards, he rested himself against the opposite pillar.

“I’ve been told it makes me hotter. Doesn’t it?”

“Sure. But no one’s gonna care when you die from lung cancer.”

“At least I’ll be a hot corpse.”

Knowing that you were fighting a lost cause, you rolled your eyes and moved to sit on the steps. Inhaling deeply, you held your hands under your knees and looked up at the stars.

“Stay with me, babe,” Brendon remarked, finishing off the cigarette and putting it out against the bottom of his shoe, “Don’t get all ‘existential crisis’ on me. Not tonight.”

You fought hard to supress the smile threatening to spill onto your face. It never ceased to amaze you how well this guy actually knew you.

“That’s not the case every time I look at the stars, you know.”

“Now, now,” he seated himself next to you, close enough so that your shoulders were rubbing against each other, “We both know that’s a lie.”

“Whatever,” you scoffed.

Reaching into the inside pocket of your jacket, you pulled out a metallic flask and unscrewed the cap. After stealing a brief glance at the brown liquid inside, you took a swig, then held it out to Brendon.

He accepted it with a smirk, which turned into a huge grin after he tasted the contents.

“I kinda hoped you’d show up,” you admitted, explaining your reasoning for bringing a flask filled with bourbon to a teenage house party.

“Love of my life,” he sighed dreamily, drinking some more.

You looked at him with an intrigued expression. “Me or the bourbon?”

Brendon just winked at you.

Laughing, you refocused on the night sky, admiring the moon.

“Wow. I can’t remember last time I actually sat outside and looked at the moon,” you said. “I forgot how beautiful it is.”

Your comment resulted in Brendon’s attention shifting to the sky almost instantaneously and as he did so, his face paled.

“Shit. Tonight’s a full moon.”

The hint of urgency in his voice confused you, and you creased your brow as you nodded slowly. “Yeah… just like it is every month….”

“Wait, what day is it?” Brendon asked, looking at you with panicked eyes. “It’s Friday, right?”

You shook your head. “Saturday.”

As if it were possible, Brendon’s face grew even paler.

“Shit!” he hissed loudly, scrambling to his feet. He fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. “Fuck, it’s almost midnight,” he muttered under his breath, barely loud enough for you to make out.

“What’s wrong?” you asked in concern.

“I- I have to go,” he said, hurrying down the steps of the porch, heading for the back fence.

“Brendon, wait!” You rushed after him, pulling his arm to try and get him to stop, but he yanked himself away harshly. “What’s going on? Why are you-“

“I just have to go, (Y/N), okay? I’m fine. Don’t worry, just… go home.”

Everything about the way Brendon was acting was unlike his usual self. His confident, cool and controlled, slightly cocky demeanour had ostensibly dissipated, and what was left was someone who could only be compared to a scared, vulnerable child.

It scared and worried you beyond belief, to see Brendon like that, but when you tried to press him for an answer, he just ignored you and ran off.

You watched in complete puzzlement as he scaled the backyard fence with cat-like agility, before dropping to his feet on the other side and disappearing into the forest.

Everything about the last two minutes sent you into a frenzy of worry, and so you did the only reasonable thing you could do in such a situation…

You followed him.

~

Tiny wisps of air from your breath floated into your field of vision as you shone your phone’s flashlight in front of you, directing you through the dark abyss that was the local forest behind the last street of houses in the neighbourhood.

It was dark all around you, and the random noises emanating from further into the woodland expanse did nothing to calm your nerves. The further you dwelled into the forbidding forest, the more you regretted coming in the first place.

Brendon had left no trail after him, making it next to impossible for you to know which way to wander. You'd been walking for close to fifteen minutes now, and for all you knew, you could’ve been going around in circles the entire time.

The only thing keeping you going was the thought that Brendon could be in there somewhere, possibly injured or in need of help, and that was enough to ease any qualms you had.

You continued on, albeit reluctantly, and just when you thought that you had gotten yourself unforgivingly lost, you heard a sound that scared the shit out of you, while simultaneously drawing your attention towards a secluded structure not too far away from you.

A gasp slipped past your lips as you heard the sound again – a howl. You knew that the best thing you could’ve done at that point was to run away; you knew that.

But you didn’t.

You ran, yes, but not away from the building. Towards it.

Adrenaline pumping through your veins and heart pounding so loud that it drowned out all other sounds, you followed the groans and howls coming from inside of the structure.

The front door was rotting away, so getting inside was no problem. Once you were in, you slowed your steps, your common sense finally settling in as you realised how extremely dangerous the current situation was.

You had no idea what was waiting for you around the corner, and the sounds coming from there made you feel as if you didn’t want to find out, either.

Yet, you found yourself walking forward; it was as if your legs were moving out of their own free will, and you couldn't stop them even if you wanted to. Slowly, carefully, you rounded the corner… and your blood ran cold.

There, curled up on the floor, was Brendon.

Well, partly Brendon, partly wolf.

You were frozen in shock, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to even breathe. All you could do was watch, watch as the guy you’d drank bourbon with half an hour ago transform into a creature you’d previously only believed to be mythical.

He was writhing around in pain, torn between his human form and his wolf form, sounds coming from his mouth alternating between animalistic and humanoid.

It took him a moment before he noticed you, but even through the dilated pupils of his yellow wolf eyes, you could see that he recognised you.

Immediately, he scooted back, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible, as he attempted to repress the awfulness of his transformation.

“It’s-it’s okay,” you croaked, throat dry, as you carefully edged forward, “It’s okay.”

Brendon howled in pain as his body strained against the chains holding him back; it was obvious that the metal digging into his skin was hurting him, and you found yourself reaching out to help.

Before you could comprehend what you were doing, you had found the keys dangling from one of the wrought iron bars from the opposite cell and unlocked the chains.

Groaning out in protest, Brendon bore his teeth at you. It was a clear attempt to frighten you into running away, but you knew that he was still himself, so you made no such decision.

Unsatisfied over your conscious choice to stay, Brendon lunged at you, deliberately knocking you off of your feet and into the other cell. You landed with a thud, moaning in discomfort as a twinge of pain shot through your arm, while Brendon took advantage of the fact that he was still partly in his human form, and hurriedly locked you in.

Springing up to your feet, you rushed over to the bars, breathing heavily as you looked on. Brendon was fighting back against the transformation, stumbling around and groaning and hissing in pain as he summoned all of the willpower he had inside of him to prevent the wolf from coming out.

It was already incredibly hard to control during his regular monthly routine, when he was alone during the full moon. But now that you were here, and now that there was a possibility that he could hurt you, it was more crucial than ever for him to stop it.

Miraculously, he managed to supress the overwhelming urge to transform, resting his open palms against the cold stone wall as he tried to regulate his breathing and get his spiked heart rate down.

A couple minutes later, he dragged his tired body over to your cell, resting against it as his bruised fingers worked on undoing the lock.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you whispered, closing your hands over his as he opened the cell for you to step out.

He didn’t answer, only clenched his jaw and avoided your gaze, and you sighed. Your stare raked over his body, and a shudder coursed through you.

“You’ve been locking yourself up?” You traced the welts on his body in horror, red and raw from a full moon of chafing.

Brendon shoved himself away, allowing his temper to take over. “What the hell did you follow me for? Untie me for?” he demanded, glowering at you, “Are you crazy?! I could have killed you!”

“You’d never hurt me.”

Apparently your words were amusing, because Brendon chuckled bitterly. “All well and good but the wolf isn’t me,” he snarled.

“No wonder it’s pissed off if you never let it stretch its legs,” you scoffed, referring to his action of fighting off and resisting the transformation.

“Oh, don’t act like you know anything about it! You found out like five minutes ago!”

“So you’re telling me that you don’t resist the transformation every month?” you cast an accusatory glare his way.

“That’s not-“ he cut himself off, shutting his eyes and inhaling deeply. He counted to three in his head and then opened his eyes again, speaking in a much calmer tone. “You have no idea what it’s like, (Y/N). So don’t come at me with this condescending bullshit.”

“Okay, so tell me what it’s like,” you pressed, inching closer towards him, “Talk to me. I can help you, I can-“

“You can’t!” he exclaimed impatiently, combing his hair back out of frustration, “No one can. This is something that I have to deal with. Me. It’s not your problem.”

His outburst silenced you, and you stood in one place, watching with a frown as Brendon slunk down against the metal bars, letting his head hang down.

“What if I want it to be my problem?”

Brendon looked at you like you had just spoken an alien language. You crossed over to where he was sitting and joined him on the dirt floor.

“In case it wasn’t made clear enough by me risking my life and coming here,” you started, stretching out your legs and hooking one ankle over the other, “I care about you, B. A lot. And this is a seriously heavy situation; I don’t want you to have to deal with it alone, you know? Because you don’t have to.”

Your words hung in the air for a moment before Brendon showed any sign of acknowledgement. The tiniest of smiles spread across his lips, as his hand lifted up to your face. Gently, he tucked your hair behind your ear and traced his thumb over your cheek.

He leaned in nearer to you, close enough to kiss you but not giving you that satisfaction. Instead, he let his lips hover just above your mouth, barely ghosting over your yearning lips and causing your head to spin with anticipation. Just when you thought you couldn’t handle it anymore, he closed the remaining distance between you and captured your lips in an amazing kiss.

“Fuck, I should’ve done that a long time ago, huh?” he breathed after breaking the kiss, laughing softly before leaning in for another short one.

“Mhm,” you agreed, nodding as you deepened the kiss for a couple seconds before pulling back and looking at him with a serious face, “So is that a yes? You’ll let me help you?”

Brendon sighed, running his hands through your hair. “You’re not gonna give up, are you?” You shook your head. “Fine. But you have to promise me that you won’t untie me ever again, alright? It’s not safe.”

“I promise.”

“Even when we’re married.”

You nearly choked on the air in your throat. You’d just shared your first kiss a few seconds ago and he was already talking about marriage?

“Who says I’m gonna marry you?” you gave him a strange look.

“Please,” he snorted, taking your arm and rolling up your sleeve to reveal the tiny birthmark shaped as a half-moon on your forearm, “I imprinted on you.”

“You what?” you gawked.

“Imprinted. It’s when-“

“Yeah, I know what it is. I’ve read Twilight,” you held up a hand to stop him, shaking your head as you stammered in disbelief, “But wait… you imprinted on me, but waited two years to tell me about it? Or to even ask me out?”

Brendon rolled his eyes at your overdramatizing. “We don’t have control over when we imprint and on who – if it were up to me, I would’ve waited. This shit is dangerous, and I didn’t want to drag you into it so early. But because you’re a nosy little-”

“Watch it,” you warned.

“-you kinda threw my entire plan off.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yeah,” you gave a prideful smile, before realizing something and creasing your brow, “So this means that I’m, like, your soulmate?”

“Yeah,” he smirked lazily, “Remember when I said that I know what I like? Wasn’t kidding.”

You laughed incredulously. “And that means when you said ‘love of my life’ earlier, you were talking about me.”

“Oh, no, I was talking about the bourbon.”

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

 Taglist:

@darknessdancing  @raversam @username-number-01834 @untilyouburnallofthewitches @underscoredarcy  @justawriterinprogress @anotherwriterinprogress @sheridans-dynamos

[imaginetk]

Neighbors:

It was 8am in the morning when Bill went inside my room asking if I hadn’t seen his charger. I growled and threw the pillow at him.

“Get out of here. I want to sleep!” I said with a sleepy voice and feeling my sleep slightly leaving me, I hate when that happened. I went to bet at 4:30am and all I wanted was to sleep.

“Haha wow, ok calm down Tom” Bill said with a mocking tone. As he walked out, before closing the door behind him, he looked back. I covered my head under the sheets, trying to fall back asleep “Oh btw, we have new neighbors Tom.”

Bill finally closed the door and even if I tried my hardest to fall back asleep I couldn’t. Damn you Bill. Plus, for a strange reason, I could not stop thinking about us having new neighbors. The house beside ours had been for rent for like forever that me and Bill thought it would be a good idea to buy it for us at some point. But now it was finally rented. All I wanted was for the new neighbors to be like an old couple or something. Like that I would be sure no one would recognize us.

I hated moving! It was messy, exhausting and it took for forever. Never the less, this one time I was exited about it. I was moving to Germany to continue my studies.

I was really happy of getting away from my country, not that I didn’t love it but I just wanted to travel and see the world, study abroad and make a life of my own. And this was my first step towards that dream life I had always been chasing after.

It was 8:00am when the moving truck finally arrived. I had already unlocked the front door of the house and also all the windows to let some fresh air in.

The guy driving the truck asked me to sign a bunch of stuff and papers and when we were finally done, him and 3 other guys started to unload the furniture. Finally, it had began. I helped with smaller stuff; boxes with plates, fragile things, clothes, and books. I thought it would be easy to just carry the boxes inside but it wasn’t! They were very heavy and I couldn’t t ask for help because the guys from moving company were carrying heavier stuff. I had to do it by myself. Meanwhile, time went by so fast I didn’t notice it was 2pm already. Why did I have so many boxes?! Fuck!

You had manage to carry one of the last boxes of books to the side walk but you were terribly exhausted at this point. You looked up to the blue sky and simply decided to take a short break. The staff helping you had left to go buy some lunch but you stayed behind.

Feeling a warm pain on your lower back, you sat on the edge of the side walk and leaned forward, resting your head on your arms that wrapped around your knees. You closed your eyes and as a cold wind blew, you looked up and closed your eyes taking a deep relaxing breath.

You felt so relaxed in that moment that you even thought about laying completely on the floor and resting there, in the middle of the sidewalk but a husky voice scared you all of a sudden.

“Hi there!”

“Oh my god!” You said placing your hand against your fast beating heart. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry haha. I didn’t mean to, I promise.” Said the guy standing beside you with a shy laughter hiding behind his words. “I just came to ask if you need some help. You look like you do. I’m your next door neighbor.”

You finally looked up and actually took a good look at him. The sun from the early afternoon was shining right behind him but you could perfectly see his face. His gaze was sweet and he was smiling. You immediately smiled as a reflex. He seemed like a very nice guy. His hair was light brown but with the sun on it, it almost looked like a dark blond. Suddenly, a strange feeling started to grow inside of your chest. His face turned more and more familiar and then it hit you. Your smile faded and you simply muttered.

“Tom…Tom Kaulitz.” You could not believe your own eyes. What was Tom doing there beside you, offering to help you with the boxes?

“Oh, I was hopping you wouldn’t recognize me.” He said lowering his eyes and with a small smile of disappointment.

“Im sorry but, it’s not like I always get offers help by a celebrity.” You felt your cheeks blushing and your heart beating each time harder against your chest.

Tom laughed and you could not believe how handsome he was in person. He was more handsome than you had imagined and you didn’t see how that was possible.

“Well, now that you know my name you have me at a disadvantage.” He said sitting right beside you.

“I’m Y/N, your new neighbor.” You tried to relax but it was so difficult. Now he was closer to you and he looked even more perfect!

“Yes, nice to meet you.” He replied “I’m glad we got such a pretty neighbor.” He winked at you and left you completely speechless.

A few seconds went by in silence, you could just hear the air brushing the top of the trees and with it, Tom’s perfume slowly wrapping around you. You thought this would be an awkward silence but it wasn’t, some how, you felt very comfortable with him.

“So, is this your first time in Germany?” Tom asked finally breaking the pleasant silence between you two.

“Is it that obvious?” You looked at him with a teasing smile.

“No, haha I just ask because…”

“Haha don’t worry.” You said interrupting his clumsy apology. “Yes, it’s the first time. I came here to study.”

“That’s very cool. I’m glad you rented this house then.” The air loosened up a few strands of his perfect hair and he looked like a dream in that moment. “You know, if you ever need something you can always ask Bill or me for help, we are just next door.”

“That’s very kind of you, thank you.” Damn, he was so kind and perfect, how?!

“Well!” He suddenly said placing his hands on his knees and quickly standing up. You simply looked up at him. “How about if I help you with this last boxes and after that I take you out for a coffee or something because you desperately need a break.”

You stood up and didn’t even tried to hide your smile of pure happiness.

“Sound perfect. And yes, I need a break.”

Tom laughed and winked at you in the most natural manner ever. He effortlessly picked up the box you had been trying to drag as close to the door as possible and quickly finished accommodating the boxes in your now empty living room. Apparently, you two were going to get along very well. You liked him immensely and, most importantly, he liked you too.

For @nykskaulitz

[cactirat]

I know he's not the best, I don't expect him to be too scary or spook. He is just for fun. Also Trigger warning because this might disturb/ trigger some people Tw: Rape, Pedophilia, Necrophilia, Death Basic: Name: Jean Nelson Cp name: None Nicknames: Bat boy because his nose kinda looks like a bats because of how it points upwards, Teddy due to him living in the Teddy Bear Motel, Trix because he's just for kids. All names are given to himself by himself because he has a lot of free time Age: 17, dies at almost 18 Birthday: May 23, 1973 Deathday: April 7, 1990 Race: White(and he is also Albino) Sex: Male Sexuality: Straight Religion: Christian and loves Jesus, although he doesn't fully understand the religion and assumes he will still go to heaven, because he thinks that he can sin as much as he want because Jesus died for it, but thats really not the case at all. Residents: The Teddy Bear Motel c5.staticflickr.com/9/8316/292… abandonedkansai.files.wordpres… Located in Whittier North Carolina Hotel Info: The hotel was abandoned, and he decided to stay there because it was much warmer then his cabin in the woods because of instillation. Mental disorders:Narcissistic personality disorder, Intermediate explosive disorder Accent: Southern but he slurs his words, and ends  up drooling a lot when talking. Prized Possession: A Taxadermied 16 y/o girl that he did by himself, She's kinda rotten. WIP character. --- Appearance: He doesn't look too spooky, but his actions kinda spook me Hair: Light ash blonde (whatever the fuck, just blonde basically) Medium length, although normally kept up. Its burnt of in many places on the face. Eyes: Cat like shaped eyes. They're green or blue, not sure yet Body Type: kinda muscular, pretty short. He has chubby arms<3 Height: 5"4 Weight: 139 lbs. Extra: he has lots and lots of burns.I cant really draw burns, they look a bit too fresh, I know. Due to the burns it kind of hurts him to open one side of his mouth, so when he talk and breathes and stuff one side droops and the oceanfox89.deviantart.com/art/… other side goes up making in look like he's smirking. The other side  of his mouth can and does open though. Outfits: Too many. Like way lots. The jeans aren't really rolled up that high, it's stylized. main outfit: oceanfox89.deviantart.com/art/… Nose: He doesn't have any nose skin so he cant keep his snot in his nose and is constantly getting boogers and stuff everywhere. He can't breathe well out of his nose because of that and it gets in his mouth a lot because he breathes out of it. He smears it around his face, its gross. Boots: cowboy boots that are brown and black, with no spurs. Legs: (Thicc) They're kind of chubby, but it's really just odd weight distribution. He eats a lot of dog, so he's not starving. --- Killing: Jean doesn't go out of his way to get a kill, but when he does kill it is for sexual purposes, to get off basically. However, since what he is into is so odd, it doesn't feel like the victim is being sexually violated, which he thinks is wrong.  How he kills in he normally bashed their head in with his hockey stick, or slice them with it. He will occasionally hang them, or make small cuts in them and let the victim bleed out. --- Fetishes: One reason that Jean kills is to get a good wank. His sex thing was badly burnt when they were attacked and overtime he developed strange fetishes that he does to his victims.  Trigger Warning, but important info   Erotophonophilia: Sexual pleasure in murder Necrophilia Pedophilia Piquerism: Pleasure in piercing or cutting the flesh Sadism Zoophilia: Animal fetish Zoosadism: Inflicting pain in animals, or seeing animals in pain. --- Personality: He's a dick. He wont talk to or go after anyone over 20. He  pretends to be sweet and happy and pretends to not have much of a personality and be 2 dimensional like a cartoon character to trick kids into thinking he is fun loving and happy. He's really just a sad, perverted sex freak, who love targeting the weak, young and venerable. He occasionally will belittle his victims before he kills them once he's caught him in his shed or in the motel, and just yell at them because he is angry for no reason. He really does regret it, and it doesn't feel as great as it did. Misogynistic type( Hates women) Why have sex if it's no love?He's secretly extremely sad with what he's done with his life. Before it even started really. He's only 17. He could have made a family of his own. He knows he blew his only change at a family and love, he messed it up the second he got it. Nobody told him it was wrong, what he did to his sister. And if you can't fix what's broken, break it more, right? Likes: Children(in that way), getting off to dead people (in holes he cuts in them, not birth canals), Sugar Rice Krinkles, Jesus, eating flowers, staplers, NICKELODEON, the cold, wet pleasure of penetrating corpses, acting, being romantic, however his version of romantic is sick and twisted, exhibitionism, Killing hikers and fucking their dogs Dislikes: Hippies, because they annoy the fuck out of him, Victims who scream or bark too  loud and hurt his ears, most people besides himself, loud noises, "kinkshaming", men Beliefs: He believes that killing children and bashing in the stomachs or pregnant women is fine to save the children from living miserable lives. He thinks its immoral to have real sex with women, because he never has, but holes he cuts into them is fair game. Strength: He is fast, in the short periods of time he can run, from practice he can swing his hockey stick well, he can climb, and get into small places easily, can fallow things well with his eye and rarely loses sight of victims. Because they're dumb children and loud animals. Weaknesses: He's human, he has human weaknesses, he has poor eyesight because he is albino, and his hair is also easily grabbed and pulled. He also has problems with running for a long time because his nose is normally clogged and he cant breathe. Also, because he is normally breathing from his mouth, he has a hard time sneaking up on people. He is much weaker then most men. He doesn't have any depth perception because his eye was burnt over. theme song: Yonkers Instrumental by Tyler the Creator and Goosebumps Instrumental by Travis Scott www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0ZQyr…; or www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQBw1f… (just for fun) but highkey inspired by Tron Cat by Tyler the Creator. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd3hxZ… --- Phobias: Androphobia: Fear of adult men, due to most of them being stronger then him Pyrophobia: Fear of fire Mastigophobia: Fear of whips --- Extras: Since the motel doesn't have electricity, when he kills an animal, he eats it. Probably died from tetanus or being shot, i'm not sure yet, possibly froze to death still my innocent little floof bby He's not gay btw He's all badass until someone attacks back, then he's a little bitch ---  TRIGGER WARNING  (just in case) This includes background Story: written by siner666.deviantart.com/art/Je… --- Short background:    Jean was born and left at the hospital. However he was adopted by a "nice" couple that took care of him until he was around 7. However the the father cheated on the mom and the mom became angry at Jean and his siblings at the time. The people he had always known as his real family. He was taken away by cps and placed into foster care while his mother was evaluated. He was placed in a few more terrible homes until he finally go to Edmunds. They were a nice Mexican family. He had a little sister names Sarah in that family. He became very addicted to TV and his family got him whatever he wanted to deal with his trauma.They gave him whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, so it made him very self absorbed. But he wasn't satisfied. Jean eventually fell in love, but he knew that her family would stop them from being together. So he kidnapped her in the night and ran away with her. taking the things they bonded over with them, so that just maybe she would forgive him. He was immediately found out and the town basically went out in a mob to go find him. When he he was found he was attacked, rather violently, because the townspeople much rather did things own their own and not with legal help, so they decided to chase them down and catch them by themselves. It was like an old fashioned mob. One mad decided too pick up a lantern but dropped it and it burnt the two children. He assumed he killed them The girl died but Jean didn't. When their parents found out they were devastated, they never knew he survived.    Jean was absolutely devastated, the only person he could ever truly love was dead. He ran to a hotel, that had been very important to him as a child. Only to learn that it had been abandoned, which was a pleasant surprise to him. He and his sisters dead corpse stayed at the motel for the longest time until she started rotting, so Jean started looking for a new body.    He found a cabin in the woods and camped there and killed any children that happened to wander in. And animals, and eventually pregnant women.    One day he was strolling around in his little forest, and found some campers. A single dad, a daughter who was 11 and a son who was 13, and their dog. He snuck into their tent while the dad went away to get their truck.Jean underestimates how strong the son is. Jean assumes he can go in, kill the brother, and steal the sister and dog. He intended to kill him with a hammer he found in his motel. HE walks in and accident steps on the brother. The brother was SHOOK and immediately started beating Jean over the head with the closest object, a flashlight. He does it to the point when his head is cracked and bleeding out. the brother told him to scram, which he did, only to come around the other side and snatch up the dog and sister. Jean even this dazed and confused state still managed to run with them and climb to the roof of the motel. He held the dog over the roof to taunt the brother. The father came then. Seeing one of his beloved children in danger he climbed up to the roof with Jean. He grabbed Jean by the hair and dragged him down from the roof down the fire escape. He took the hammer Jean had, and grabbed wads of his blood clotted hair and nailed it to a wall. Jean passed out. When he woke up the father forcefully ripped him  form the wall, scalping him and exposing the hole in the skull the his son made. The father shoves his foot in the crack and spread it more. Jean was basically having full blown seizures at this point. The dad gets the scalp and then he tied it around his neck and hung him. And finally tore the better part of his face off and left him there to die, even though he probably already died before. The thirty two year old man, Walter Hugo, was later charged with the multiple murders, and minor rape. Walter was sent to death row and Jean was obviously dead.